WELCOME TO MOONJELLY

Humans have tail bones, but we don't have tails. We used to have tails apparently. In our earliest stages. But we don't anymore. We have coccyges. That's plural for coccyx. Coccyx is a great word. I had to google what the plural form of coccyx was, so don't feel bad that you didn't know the word 'coccyges.' I'm not a bone doctor or nothing. I'm just really glad that we don't have tails. Because, even though it might aid in our overall balance-- I'm imagining that I'd have bee

(She's obviously thinking about how she needs to pee and troubled by the impending hardship.) Petition for all jumpsuits to come with built-in urinary catheters! I'm sick and tired of taking off all of my clothes just to pee whenever I wear a jumpsuit. I almost have to consciously avoid digesting liquids to avoid the hassle of urinating. If only I could pee into a bag to dispose of at my earliest convenience. Jumpsuits give the illusion that they're carefree, easy, breezy, wh

I'm not saying that all Prius drivers are bad drivers, but I AM saying that all bad drivers are Prius drivers. If you're not using your turn signal appropriately, leaving unnecessarily long gaps between the car in front of you, texting while driving, or going twenty miles under the speed limit, then chances are you're a Prius driver, and chances are you're a bad driver. No offense, though. -j

Can anyone explain to me why a pair of premium womens' active leggings are 90 freaking dollars (or more)? That's just rude. How am I supposed to feel at ease sweating in leggings that are like, spun from gold or whatnot. Because that's the only reason it'd warrant that price, I think. How can I chaturanga dandasana with integrity, knowing that I got GOT by marketing, selling me this fantasy version of myself that never eats sugar and drinks green smoothies and rises with the

You: Banning plastic straws in a minimal effort to save the planet. Thanos, an intellectual: Let's decrease the population by half. Guys, I know we all love Spoderman, but don't we love Earth more? Can you really hate Thanos for being the most altruistic villain of all time? We can ban plastic straws all we want, but our planet's doomed if we're not willing to make some bigger sacrifices. Yes, I am typing this while drinking iced coffee with a plastic straw right now, but I r

That feeling when you've all collectively milked a joke for all its worth, far past its prime, and someone finally says, "Ahh, good times, good times," effectively breaking the spell and freeing you from the shackles of a ghost joke. Phew, I thought we'd be stuck in that joke forever. Good thing someone said the magic words. Good times, good times. We can move on with our lives now. -j