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It's Halloweenies, and my cat volunteered to answer the door for trick or treaters. But instead of offering them candy and complimenting...

Are you even from Guam if you've never thrown a balati at someone whilst having a balati fight in the middle of the ocean? ------ The...

I want to get a manicure, but I also don't want the technician to ask me if I want an eyebrow wax. Don't try to change me. I love myself...

Weighing myself after a particularly indulgent cheat day and seeing that I’ve lost precisely one pound— Ooh, go me. Looks like I’m on the...

It'd be so sad if you paid $10 to navigate the Halloween corn maze, and you never make it out. That's a waste of $10. They'd find your...

I woke up on my 32nd birthday with a dreadfully heavy feeling in my chest. It was so heavy that it woke me up. It brought me out of my...