WELCOME TO MOONJELLY

Somewhere over the rainbow foot, blue birbs fly. -j

I bought a bundle of baby's breath from the grocery store the other day. I just thought they looked quite pretty and romantic and wanted to put them by the window. That same day my husband and I noticed a strange smell. An unpleasant smell. I thought it smelled like sour earwax. My husband thought it smelled like butt. We didn't realize until the next day that it was the baby's breath flowers. Baby's breath, we said, more like baby's butthole. More like butthole of a full gro

Some old guy cut me in line at REI, and I truly hope he trips on a rock during his hike and cuts his leg open. Nothing too serious, just enough to cause a bit of physical pain for about two weeks. I also hope that the item he purchased in haste was not the correct item, that he attempts to return said item, but that they refuse the return for some technical reason and that it annoys the crap out of him. Maybe then and only then will he realize the error of his line-cutting wa

Humans on a trail in Mount Rainier National Park: Oh look, honey, it’s one of them hoary marmots! Hoary Marmot: Umm ok, there’s no need to be rude. Humans: Look how hoary it is! Hoary Marmot: Like, I don’t even know you guys. Humans: He’s so chubby and buck-toothed. Hoary Marmot: Alright, listen here, buttholes! -j

This top isn't that comfortable tbh. -j

We went to the aquarium the other day, and I saw a thicc ass starfish. But right underneath that guy was a chill ass starfish. Like, this guy was chill as hell. He had one leg propped up like Usher on the Voice, and his two arms were spread wide like he was leaning back on a couch. And literally his whole demeanor was like, “Sup, yo.” Chill as heck, dude. Starfish are cute, because they’re shaped like stars. They don’t have to do anything else to be cute. They just have to ex