Avocado


It sucks when another girl says that she likes avocado a lot. You sigh, because you know you have to fight her now.

You throw your purse on the ground and square up. You say, "No, I like avocado a lot. In fact, I LOVE IT."

And she says, "What are you doing? I love avocado too. I was just saying how much I live for it."

And you put your fists up. You retort, "Ummm, yea. That's what I just said. I freaking love avocado. You like it. I love it. You wanna settle this the hard way?"

And she's like, "Whoa, girl. You wanna go? We can go if you wanna go. Let's go."

You fight then. You fight for your title of "Girl Who Loves Avocado The Most." The most! If you're me, then you win. Obviously.

You wipe the blood off of your face. You lift your hands up in gratitude. You're crying. It's amazing. This high.

You wonder how long you've been thinking about this imaginary scenario. It's ludicrous. In real life, you'd just be like, "Oh cool. You like avocado too? High five!"

Your husband asks, "What are you thinking about? You have a weird look on your face."

You say, "Oh nothing." *Wink*

-j

thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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