A list of reasons why "A Quiet Place" should have been called "A Stupid Movie." Spoiler ahead. Not that it matters, because if you haven't seen it yet, then you shouldn't ever.
1. You're telling me that in this world ravaged by creatures who hunt by sound that precisely NONE of Jim's family members ever so much as sneezed, farted, coughed, cried aloud whilst having sexual relations (because they did that), chewed something crunchy, snored while sleeping, scratched their balls to an audible result, etc, ET CETERA? Suspend my belief, Jim. Suspend it.
2. The monsters look like every demagorgen-type creature that has been in sci-fi movies and television shows in the past few years. Generic af. Seriously, the "Stranger Things" design guy seems like he's been super busy on every single one of these projects. Genuinely curious about this.
3. In that heartbreaking scene when Jim sacrifices himself for his kids' safety by screaming out loud to get the attention of the monster, could he not have just thrown his voice over and over again, misdirecting the monster, and thereby allowing them all to escape easy peasy lemon squeezy?
4. On that note, why didn't they turn a radio on in a field to attract all of the monsters at once and blast them to smithereens? Ah duhhhhhhhhhhh.
5. Tell my why they didn't just hunker down in the Dunder Mifflin offices and wait it out. Go ahead. I'll wait.
6. It was trash, and if you liked this movie, then I don't respect your life choices.
I still love Emily Blunt, though. I think she's great. A+ for her always.
-j
