I love it when I'm in line for Starbucks, and the person behind me stands really close to me. It's like, so sweet that they want to be near me. I might test them to see if they really want to be that near and dear to me by stepping forward just a bit. See how deep their love really is. I really need to know. Cuz we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, when they all should let us be. If they step closer after I move forward a bit, then I know it's real. This is real, propose to me already, you're standing this close to me, stop being a gigantic pussy willow and make a move.
Oh, you just want the line to move faster, because you're an impatient lil bugger, eh. It was never about me, was it? You were just playing games with my heart. Trying to see how close you could get to the register, even though the physical distance between you and the barista won't make the wait time shorter? I'm still first. You will order after me. You monster. You cold-hearted monster.
Let me guess, after you order, you're going to stand in front of the barista who's making your coffee and just stare at their progress? Lol.
Listen here, mister. Patience is a virtue. As is respect of personal space. Don't stand so close to people. They might get the wrong idea. Like, that you love them and want to be with them. Maybe you want to be the one to buy them coffee for the rest of their lives. You want to fill that role for them. I mean, you suggested it with your body language. I'm just decoding what you've given me. Thanks. Thanks for that wild, emotional roller coaster ride. Trenta-sized douchebag with an extra shot of I-don't-know-how-to-wait-in-line-like-a-decent-human being.
-j
