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Praise Dars

I had the worst period cramps of my life two nights ago. I put my half-eaten dinner away and rolled into a ball on the couch, burrowed under a pile of blankets, my uterus like a warm ball of fire burning me from inside.

"Hgnnnnnn, I'm dying." I rarely get period cramps. Maybe once in a blue moon. Maybe once in a blood moon.

My husband asks, "What do you want to watch?"


"Well, do you want some chocolate? Maybe that'll make you feel better."

I weakly extend my arm from my blanket fortress for a piece of chocolate. I bite it in half. It melts slowly in my mouth. Yummmmmm..... It's exceptionally good in this moment.

"This is good," I say. "It's soothing my soul."

I pop the other half into my mouth. My mouth is chocolate. I have a chocolate finger too.

The uterus squeeze subsides. Like magic. Like a miracle. Like, honestly, I seriously feel a 100 percent better.

"Wait, I feel better already." I sit up.

"Here, have another piece. It's good, right?"

I take another piece of chocolate, swirl it in my mouth. Feel it coat my throat. Rise up to greet the world. Do a headstand. Just kidding, I don't do a headstand.

That's never happened before. That was so cliche. I'm like the woman in pink pajamas with a heat pack on her tummy and cookies strewn haphazardly all over the bed, whining about how it's that time of the month.

I just got healed of my period cramps by two pieces of chocolate.

"Want another piece? There's two left," my husband offers.

"No thanks. I'm fully healed."

"Hallelujah. Praise Dars."


thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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