I survived my first jury duty. I sat sleepily and read a book, in a silent room with tons of people. We watched out the window as the snow fell from the sky. An older lady sitting next to me took her shoes off and sucked on a lollipop and asked another gentlemen what was going on every time they made an announcement. I thought, this lady can't serve as a juror. She doesn't seem to understand English very well.
I thought, you know who else couldn't serve as a juror?
My cat.
I imagined her darting through security, going up the elevator, finding the jury summons clerk and handing her a card with not-her-name on it.
"Are you .. a cat?" they'd ask.
"No, I'm momi. 33 years old. I'm here to serve my country."
"Do you have any biases we should be aware of?"
"No, I am as unbiased as they come. Do you guys have any gravy back there?"
"... You are ... dismissed. Thanks for your service."
"But I'm here for justice."
"No, thank you. Please see yourself out."
"Seems like you're the one with the bias."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I think we're done here."
-j
