BREAKING: Fully Vaxxed, Extra Ass

Re-entering the world like heyyy!

BREAKING: Sources are saying that I am fully vaxxed and that my ass is fatter than ever.


Causation between the two conditions cannot be confirmed.


”Look at that booty,” said my husband, as I walked from the living room to the kitchen.


Upon re-entry into the real world, extra wiggling was required to fit all of this ass into my jeans.


“After a year of deprivation, are the people ready for all this jelly?” I asked my reflection this morning.


Whether or not the people are ready for all of this jelly remains to be seen.


This story is still developing. Check back for more updates.


Last updated June 20, 2021 at 10:02 a.m.


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