This audiobook is almost 26 hours of Edward being thirsty and melodramatic.
I’ve been listening to the Midnight Sun audiobook as a little bedtime story to fall asleep to, and I’m sorry to 2008 me, but this book is hella boring. I thought it would be cute to hear Edward’s perspective of smelling Bella for the first time and falling in eternal love with her, but this is going to be a 'no' from me, doggie.
I’m only two hours in, and I have an entire day's worth of listening to go. I listened to an entire chapter where he was slaughtering everyone in his biology class, and then it turned out to just be his imagination—and I was like, precisely why was that imaginary scenario so goddamn long? We get it, bro. You’re a vampire who goes to high school. Just because you have golden eyes and a chiseled jawline doesn’t give you the right to muse for chapters upon chapters.
(Muse. That’s a little reference to the movie soundtrack.)
Even at 1.5 speed, this audiobook is a snoozer. I’ll tough it out for a bit longer, and if anything changes, I’ll update this post. But for now, I’ll be putting Midnight Sun on just to lull me to sleep, because of how tedious it is. Hold on tight, spider monkeys.
- Edward keeps mentioning Bella’s “chocolate eyes” and once even referred to their color as “melted chocolate.” Lol. Is not melted chocolate the same color as solid chocolate? Shouldn’t we instead be distinguishing the hue of brown by cacao level? I stared into Bella’s 70% cacao irises as she stumbled over her words, mouth twitching.
- Edward said he wanted to smash Mike’s skull open for inquiring about Bella’s interest in attending the dance. That is intense.
- Edward notices a spider in Bella’s room as he watches her sleep. He talks about wanting to kill every single spider that could possibly bring harm to Bella. Lolol. Is this my love language? Not the “watching someone sleep” part, but the “over-protection against spiders” part.
- Did not finish at 45%! Sorry, can't do it.