Halloween Costumes In The Time Of 2020








“And what are you even? A bee?”


“I’m a murder hornet, DUH.”


So I imagine a few people will still be having small Halloween gatherings this year, despite the pandemic and all. I will not be one of those people. During a regular year, I don’t have a Halloween costume party to attend. 2020, year of all things that could go wrong, is no exception. But even though I’m an introverted moonjelly with only a handful of friends, I still enjoy the idea of costuming. Some people are aces at relevant, witty costumes, and I love seeing people dress up and reveal the inner workings of their hearts. I myself have only ever been a slutty sailor, an obscure Spice Girl (I was going for Baby Spice, but pigtails alone are not enough to distinguish one’s Emma Bunton-ness.), and the creature from the Black Lagoon (child’s size XL, after-Halloween clearance sale, Target).


That being said here are some costume ideas I am *dying* to see on social media on spooky Hallow’s Eve.


  • Murder Hornet terrorizing any children who happen to be dressed up as bumblebees.

  • Dalgona Coffee with edible headpiece made out of actual whipped coffee for people to dip a finger in for a little taste.

  • Slutty vice presidential debate fly.

  • Animal Crossing villager bunny who hates tourists. (IDK, I literally don’t know anything about Animal Crossing, except that you can grow peaches?)

  • Mexican Pizza going off to college.

  • Guy who sings and dances to ”Carole Baskin, killed her husband, whacked him.” People will be like, ”Oh, you’re dressed up as Joe Exotic.” And you’ll be like, ”No, I’m dressed up as the Carole Baskin Tik Tok guy.”

  • Posessed Peppa Pig (Bly Manor).

  • Broken leg dancer who tried and failed to do the WAP dance.

  • Hair loss Christine Taylor in a swimsuit from The Craft.

  • Hesitant alien on a mission to invade Earth. “I’m having second thoughts about this, guys.”

  • Sean Feucht with no mask in a SuperSonics jersey evading his $30,000 turf bill by having his congregation do it for him. Must have “Let Us Worship” sign. Must exude air of immunity to disease and social responsibility.


That’s all I have for now. Cheers to fooling all the dumb spirits roaming the earthly plane on October 31st. It’s embarrassing for them, really. Getting fooled by some paper maché like, seriously.


-j





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