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If Ms. Coulter Kicks That Precious Lil Monkey One More Goddamn Time, I Swear To God

I don’t like.

Ms. Coulter’s about to catch these hands. I know that’s her dæmon and all, basically an extension of herself in a separate animal form, but lil man deserves so much better. His precious blue face and sad eyes speak volumes, and I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and give him a big ‘ole plate of leaves and fruit.

I know he’s a CGI monkey, but I don’t like seeing any kind of monkey getting kicked. And the way she leaves him all alone in the house? He stares out the window with a hand on the glass like he’s in a sad music video. No. Take. Him. With. You. Bitch. That’s a baby sweet monkey. He must be protected at all costs.


If you were a character in the “His Dark Materials” universe, what animal would your dæmon be? I think mine would be a squid, but I’d have to carry him around in a plastic bag full of seawater. If we get too close to anything spiky or pokey, we are toast.

All images copyright - HBO (fair use)


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