Lower Your Expectations For 2021

It could get better, but IT ALSO COULD GET WORSE.




So don’t get too excited, but I matched with a new year- 2021. Seems very promising, and I really want things to work out. It’s just that things didn’t go so well with the last year, 2020, and I’m a little apprehensive. I’m so over 2020, but I don’t want to rush into 2021 with blind hope, you know?


2020 was an asshole, and I never want to hear or see or talk about 2020 again. I deleted and blocked 2020 from all of my accounts. If you’re a real friend, you’d delete and block 2020 from your accounts too. That’d be really supportive, thanks.


"...there were red flags everywhere."

It started off so nice and romantic, but there were red flags everywhere. Australia was on fire, we lost a basketball legend, COVID-19 was trickling in, killer bees and locusts began their assault on humanity, and it just went from zero to 100 real quick. I should have heeded the signs.


The virus became unstoppable, people were wearing masks with nose and mouth holes cut out of them (really stickin’ it to the man!), and science was being ridiculed. The west coast was literally on fire, and the air was unbreathable. There were racist murders occurring, and people were protesting, and people were protesting the protesting, and sadly, the nation couldn’t agree on a simple concept, one that posits simply that all humans are created equally.


It was just very tumultuous, and I’ve learned a lot from 2020. There’s still learning to be had, but 2020 can go suck a bag of phallic objects.


I’m just going to play it cool with 2021. I like 2021, but I don’t want to seem too eager, either. That might scare 2021 off.


Oh, here’s a picture of 2021. Cute, right?


See, I told you. 2021 might be THE ONE, but I’m going to lower my expectations, just in case.


2021 is arriving tomorrow at midnight, so everyone just act natural. Please, no one say anything about the monoliths or the sourdough bread obsession. This is a FRESH START, AND I CANNOT MESS THIS UP, SERIOUSLY!

thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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