Or do I?
The fact that they’re 50 percent off does nothing for me. I’m not interested. Maybe I clicked on the ad one time out of sheer curiosity, but if I wanted a pair of mesh crotchless high leg bikini panties (in new colors!), I would have purchased them by now.
Yes, I did screenshot the ad, and I did send it to my husband. But not as a hint that I was jonesin’ for an airy underwear experience with him. More of a ”Please behold these, so that we may partake in amusement over them together.” And then we sent vague vagina-ish emojis back and forth to each other, which is when I discovered that the fortune cookie emoji is the most perfect visual simile to these particular panties.
I know these are not meant to be practical— they’re meant for sexy times, but I can’t get over the logistics of this design. The LIPS. HANGING OUT. OF THE CUTOUT. I cannot, and I will not.
Savage Fenty, please. If you keep showing me this ad, I’ll keep clicking on it to read the new comments. But I will not be adding to cart, because I don’t wear pants around the house. And I’m not about having my lady clam peeking through the window ever so casually while I sit cross-legged on the couch on a Sunday afternoon. I want to be safe and secure in my undergarments. You know, like in the olden times.
How do you take your panties, ma’am? Crotch or no crotch?