A little too long, and I can’t wait
Alexa, play “Too Little, Too Late” by JoJo.
When I see these backpedaling politicians suddenly find their balls and say, “Actually, I found my balls, and I denounce this man,” I feel like teen pop star Jojo as she cries while looking out the window.
You say the words, but boy, it don’t feel right.
It does not feel right. It feels like you’re jumping off a train fast-and-furious style at the very last second to avoid being smashed to smithereens.
You say you’ve changed, but boy, you know you’re begging don’t fool me.
Do you hear the blues in my velvety voice? I don’t believe the snake lies that come out of your snake mouth.
Because to you it’s just a game.
A game where people have been spoonfed lies and incited to violence. And thinking they’re Mel Gibson in Braveheart even though they’re just organic-eating beta boys*.
’Cause time has made me strong, and I’m starting to move on.
Oh baby, can you hear the conviction and power in this vocal run? I’m moving on, and so is the country. OoohhhOoOhhHooOHHHHoHHHHHHhhh. I’m a really good singer. I hope these whistle notes pierce straight through your heart. May you feel shame.
It’s Inauguration Day! Time to move forward. America is letting you go and loving herself. You go, America. You go!
*There’s nothing wrong with eating organic food, I’m just poking fun. There’s also nothing wrong with being a beta boy. I don’t really believe in the classification. Actually, I just like the catchphrase “BETA,” made famous by Jesse Lee Peterson on his crazy podcast. It just sounds funny when he shouts it every 3 minutes.