You: Banning plastic straws in a minimal effort to save the planet.
Thanos, an intellectual: Let's decrease the population by half.
Guys, I know we all love Spoderman, but don't we love Earth more? Can you really hate Thanos for being the most altruistic villain of all time? We can ban plastic straws all we want, but our planet's doomed if we're not willing to make some bigger sacrifices. Yes, I am typing this while drinking iced coffee with a plastic straw right now, but I reuse mine a few times before I throw them out. Also, yes, I did buy a shampoo bar from Lush, because it smells delicious. But more importantly, it has zero plastic packaging, and it makes me feel like a decent human. These are the little steps that I can take, because we can't all wield an infinity gauntlet. Like, I know for sure that would be way too big for my hand. And let's be honest, if I had the infinity gauntlet, I would probably just use it to travel back in time to my childhood on Guam just to swim in the ocean. Or I might use the reality stone to make me think I'm swimming in the pristine, turquoise waters of my home island. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I want to go swimming in the ocean. And also, that we should all get behind the plastic straw ban, we should all recycle, and if we really, REALLY care about the planet, we should all pledge to not reproduce. Simple.