You know what's not chill?
Opening up the book you're reading to the page you left off on to find a spider just chilling there.
I mean, dude. This happened to me a few days ago, and I was like a robot malfunctioning. I screamed, hesitated, almost dropped my book, screamed again, and then finally dropped the book on the table. It was awful. My husband came to rescue to smash the spider to smithereens, not without laughing at my delayed response.
Every spider in the world is a dick. For existing. Especially if they're popping up in my most sacred of sacred places. A book. A portal to another world. A spider in a book... a portal to my worst nightmare.