Couch Potate


She had crumbs in her hair and her feet in the air.

I truly have been trying to stay productive this quarantine. I know I have it easy. I have a lot to be thankful for. But during the evening, when it's time to wind down, it's time to get my READ on. At the beginning of the year, I discovered an app called Libby, and it connects readers to their local library's e-book catalog. So to say my life is changed is an understatement. At any given time, I have 15 books on hold, and three on my (electronic) shelf. The world is my library oyster, and I've been racing to finish each book as it becomes available to me. I feel like a bookworm in a book shoppe.

And yes, I have been consistently doing yoga for the sake of my physical being. Except for the one week where the mysterious bump on my back solemnly decided, "IT IS TIME," and evolved into Mount Vesuvius, rendering my back immobile due to the gross af swelling. It was seriously out of this world. If I had the balls to endure the pain, I'd have cut into it and filmed the deluge to upload to pimple fetish YouTube territory. But who am I kidding? I couldn't even bend my back enough to upward dog without crying out in pain, and to think I'd even consider lancing my own flesh? Laughable.

I asked my husband as he was dressing the wound, "Is it cute though?"

He said, "Hmm, well, it looks like a butthole."

"So... cute, then?"

"No, not really, babe."

And yes, I have been attempting to write the novel that I said I would write for the past-- oh, all of my life. I've gotten so far as brainstorming a plot. That's not very far, I know. But I'm taking the steps I need, and I'm aaalmost proud of myself.

Me, to myself: Don't let me down, bro.

And also, we've been eating a lot of soup and salad and other low-calorie foods throughout the week. Snacking on "healthy" popcorn and sipping flavored sparkling waters. Are we becoming our best selves?

Alright, I know that I'm not becoming my best self. Because quite frequently, I find myself on the couch, cocooned in a blanket, with a bag of these bomb dark chocolate chip cookies (with which I've recently entered into a romantic relationship), and my eyes are turning into mush from reading off of my iPad for so long.

My husband, on the other hand, still working from home, has enrolled in a Harvard online course on Christianity through it's scriptures. Don't get it twisted. He's not studying Christianity, because he is a person "of ~~**faith.**~~" He's learning how unreliable and problematic Christian scripture is, lolz. So picture him as he dutifully reads through his lesson, taking detailed notes, when I call to him from my couch potate state, "Babe, can you get me some more coooookiiiiessss pleeeeease?"

"Sure."

"And a sodaaaaaaaaaa please :)"

"Don't say I never did nothing for ya."

So we take a few steps forward to personal betterment. And then we take a few steps backward into cookie crumble sand. I'll try to take a few more steps forward tomorrow.

Potate, out.

-j

thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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