I picked up a new book, "How To Not Suck," by Lamp Rey. I've never heard of him before, but apparently he's a vampire eel who has learned how to be better than his natural instincts. And he wants to share his secrets with the world. How did Mr. Rey write a book with no hands, just a wiggling body and a toothy mouth hole? Good question. Spend $19.99 on his work, and the truth will set you free.