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Confession: I Listen To ASMR, But I Swear I'm Not a Weirdo

Tingle, tingle

I'll just get right to it-- I don't listen to those disgusting Mukbang ASMR videos where people gorge themselves on seafood as they take shots of melted butter and chew obnoxiously into the microphone.


I'm not a pervert.

I only listen to regular ASMR videos. Like the ones where I'm a space robot, and the technician has to run tests on my systems to send me back to battle. Or like the ones where I'm getting fitted to go to the renaissance ball and I'm feuding with another customer at the tailor's. (She's being a gossipy bitch, but I don't know the backstory). Or like I'm visiting a kind witch, and she's making me a potion to make someone fall in love with me.

You know, simple stuff. Normal stuff. I'll also listen to makeup application and haircut ASMR videos. Those aren't quite as riveting, but they get the job done.

The job is tingles. Tingle town in my brains.

Not everyone experiences the sensation of ASMR. And those are the people who judge ASMR viewers. Sucks for them. I shed a single tear of pity for them.

They'll never know the efficacy of putting your headphones in, pressing play and falling into a deep, luxurious slumber almost immediately.

It's magical.

There's a stigma around ASMR videos, because people associate ASMR with someone chomping on a giant crab leg and being kinda freaky. Or furiously tapping on an object with a crazed look in their eyes.

But ASMR can be really elegant. If created with care, it can be an actual tool to ease anxiety and reduce stress. These audio and visual triggers. combined with pristine recording and good storytelling, really help people achieve zen in this fast-paced, hyper-stimulating, icecap-melting world, and that's awesome.

My perfect ASMR experience: hair is slightly damp from a hot shower, pop a melatonin gummy, burrow deep under the comforters, ... ready, set, tingle! And ... pass out.

Alls I'm saying is don't judge a girl by her YouTube history. (Unless it's full of "EPIC SEAFOOD BAKE MUKBANG ASMR (lots of butter!!)" videos, then yea, feel free to judge away!)

thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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