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I Waited 2 Months For My New Drivers License, And All I Got Was My New Drivers License

After two months and several phone calls, I finally have a valid driver’s license again, but my photo is all blurry. If someone were to ID me, they’d look upon my license, and say, “The person in this photo is soft-focused and maybe starring in a floral perfume commercial. You look sharper and have more visible skin imperfections. Are you sure this is you?”.

And I’ll be like, “I shan’t tell a lie. ‘Tis me. The truth is that I am half vampire, and I am cursed to photograph as though in a hazy dream.”

And they’d be like, “Okay, we cannot sell you this bottle of wine.”

Now that I have a blurry-photo’ed driver’s license, I may never be positively identified again. Such is the miserable, mysterious life of a somewhat blood-curious maiden with a license to operate a vehicle in the evergreen state.


thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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