I Waited 2 Months For My New Drivers License, And All I Got Was My New Drivers License



After two months and several phone calls, I finally have a valid driver’s license again, but my photo is all blurry. If someone were to ID me, they’d look upon my license, and say, “The person in this photo is soft-focused and maybe starring in a floral perfume commercial. You look sharper and have more visible skin imperfections. Are you sure this is you?”.


And I’ll be like, “I shan’t tell a lie. ‘Tis me. The truth is that I am half vampire, and I am cursed to photograph as though in a hazy dream.”


And they’d be like, “Okay, we cannot sell you this bottle of wine.”


Now that I have a blurry-photo’ed driver’s license, I may never be positively identified again. Such is the miserable, mysterious life of a somewhat blood-curious maiden with a license to operate a vehicle in the evergreen state.

thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

Recent Posts

To play, press and hold the enter key. To stop, release the enter key.

press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom
press to zoom