When You Decline A Website’s Popup Discount Offer

“No thanks, I’ll pay full price like an asshole.”


Imagine if websites didn’t pull that passive-aggressive “Ooh lucky for you— Here’s a special discount specifically for you, baby! You don’t want it? You prefer to pay full price like an asshole? Okay, got it. Just ’x’ out like the noncommittal coward you are. Go on then. Ungrateful little bitch.”


It’s the internet equivalent of entering a store and sheepishly acknowledging the sales associate who is greeting you with a rundown of all the current promotions.


“Awesome, thanks. I’m just browsing though.”


“Alright, so you don’t care about saving money. I’ll leave you alone then.”


“No, I just want to look first. If that’s okay..”


”WHAT’S YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!”


”I DON’T HAVE ONE.”


”DO YOU WANT FIVE PERCENT OFF OR NOT?!”


“Not really?”


“Ok. I’ll let you off with a warning this time.”


”Thank you?”


“I’m watching you.”


“Please don’t.”


”Don’t worry. They’re just cookies.”


“(´ー`)”


“You could have had a discount by now.”






thank you, love you, xoxo ✨

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